I think I do..? But I dont want

So, how's life?

Year 3 was just the beginning. Honestly, its just the 5th week of the school but it's just too exhausting for me to handle. Too many schoolworks and life problems coming over my way but am glad I'm not so disperse from my clique. We still get to see each other sometimes and I will try to spend time with them wisely. Even if A is around and you know how much A and I despise each other. But then again, he's not so bad actually. Maybe he was just misunderstood by me and the other peers.

Judging from the past, I dont really know why we hate each other. Hate is such a strong word, I'm just gonna use the term 'dislike'. Ever since we were in the different school, I've been having such a weird feelings between us. Yeah, I know its impossible right? I know, I know. I shared the same feelings as well. But I dont know if this is 'like' or am I 'just missing him'

BUUUUUT THEN WHYYYYYYY

I cant tell anyone about it. F seems to have knew that I might have feelings for him? But I dont know if it's just the feeling or am I just missed him having him around. I was too used to having him like for 2 and a half years beside me and now he's gone? From my class? At first, I was like 'thanks the heavens for separating us apart ' because I do know I need some time apart from him since it is the FINAL YEAR and I need to do well, he's gonna pulled me down if we were together in the same class. But then this feelings happened and I'm like so puzzled.

I was happy whenever we have time together tbh. I was actually happy that he sat beside me and I helped out with his work because apparently, he didnt passed up his work on time ( hah the irony) but I know the feeling was like 'oh yeah you're beside me' *insert clapping*

Then he offered me food again.
The first time I was offered food by him was when we doing our work and at the time, I was really hungry so he had like 2 breads and he offered me one of the bread while hinting that he wanted one of the bread.
Can you believe he actually feared that I would get his favourite food?
No, I actually know he loves chocolate.
Yeah so he offered me his curry puffs
I was really hungry but I was like no, no its okay.
HE HAD POTATOES CURRY PUFF AND I LOVE POTATOES CURRY PUFFS!
It's like he just knew or something :0

Sometimes, I wish he would appreciate himself for who he is.
By not changing into someone that he shouldnt be.
I really do not want him to get hurt by any girl.
The only girl who can hurt him is me
But mentally, the girls he has been dating are just wrong and he needs to know that
But he's so hopelessly romantic
that just a serve of the sweet words,
he would be swoon over :\